Almost Over !! :(

What is probably the worst and best week in June? Well unless you went abroad, I am sure you don't know. June is normally the month exchange student's start to really notice that they have to leave! June is the month you wanted at the beginning of your experience, but towards the end, you start to wish on stars that it would go slower. 

June. Yes, I noticed that June is over, and I am asking where did it go?? Now, I feel warm tingles as I think about my home in the United States. As I will be there in a few days....BUT, I feel an even stronger dread, that seems to get worse every single day to tell you the truth. If I could feel the color black, it would be this feeling. It is similar to your heart breaking every minute, and then repairing itself out of hope. Why? Well because I know I have 4 days left in Italy, including today. I know that I will leave and never be able to come back for a year again, unless I move here. 

So why does June/July bring these feelings? Why do all exchange student's start to feel these sensations then? In my opinion it is because of the "End-of-the-year orientation." When Intercultura/AFS told us that we basically have to leave, or else. (I am pretty sure some people are attempting to just hide themselves and 'forget' to go on the plane.) They also tell you about the reverse culture shock you might feel when you return. I hear it is worse the the culture shock at the beginning! Kind of nervous! It basically means that you grew a custom to your host country's culture and you get shocked to see you own. 

Even more sad, they make you talk about your experience as if it already ended. Yes. I know, because I went to mine about a week ago. 

It was in Salerno! (The SAME PLACE I went to in October for the first orientation) This time I had so much fun, because I knew more people, I have more friends, and more importantly, I speak Italian now! ;-) 

So, the entire time was basically us speaking about the good and bad times of our experience. We did many activities. Some, including a game where we stood in a circle, and kissed our hands how we wanted. THEN, how ever we kissed our hand, we had to do the same to the person next to us. Yes, I kissed a girl.  I think it was to demonstrate how we all changed culturally, we are all more open to do/try new things.

Or we did time lines that had the line representing how Good/Bad that month was. At one point we sat all in a room, and someone read a paper and we all had time to experience what we did through-out our year, again. (Like with your memory) I totally shed a tear. They were talking about family, and I thought first of my host family then my american family. It showed me how much I grew to really care about them, people who were strangers to me a few months ago. (4 months ago to be exact) 

So I hope you get the point, we talked a lot and it opened my eyes! I have to leave ITALY! Why.... Perché.... ??? I have asked this enough times already, I constantly am finding things I love about Italy more then America.... I feel like I am the only American that doesn't want to return, I fell in love with the Italian culture. Now I am being dragged towards an airport, in handcuffs, forced on a plane home. Well that's how I feel. The only thing that makes me feel like I have to go back is that fact that my host sisters are going with me. Plus I haven't seen my family in a year, but to tell you the truth, I dont think they would notice if I stayed another 4-60 months. We have a special bond, strong! I know I will see them eventually <3 (Hi mom if your reading this, know it's you!) 

Anyway, at Salerno I also got a lot of parties in! The South American people really know how to make it fun! At this 'Camp' they were basically the cool people. I think the four Americans (including myself) were all wanting to be any other nation besides American. Yea, one lesson I learned abroad is that when it comes to the states, everyone has an opinion about them. Good or bad. The states are unlike any other country because we get talked about a lot! Just think about all the other country's, they are never in the news as much as the USA..... They just never have as much trouble as we do. Totally not fair. 

My point is that I wished to be Brazilian or something else. BUT I am not, I am American and I am very proud of that! No matter what, choose and love your country!! Tomorrow is 4th of July, I get to celebrate my independence with 1 other american. We are going all out because we have a higher sense of patriotism now! (+ we are alone) We are thinking about making a thousand cupcakes... Interculteral taught me that this year, I must stay by my country, because I represent them. When I return to America in 3-4 days, I will also represent Italy. I will be forever in between these two amazing countries. 

Italy + America = New Me!!!! <3 XOXO

| § | XOXO Brystal | § |